A Good, Good Day

Part 1--It's Just a Number
Wow, today is my 35th birthday and although my doctor said I am officially an old fart now, I do not feel any older.  I am so grateful to my mom who never made a big deal about age.  At 67, she still looks great, but I feel like she ages gracefully.  She just doesn't make a big deal about it.  Now I am not crazy about all the wrinkles and spots that are popping up here and there on my face, but I also feel like they add character and I will not be ashamed.  I'm loving my life and am just happy to be alive.  When I was 26, I woke up one morning with Bell's Palsy.  For those of you that don't know, Bell's Palsy is when one of the facial nerves is destroyed, and causes temporary or permanent paralysis of certain features.  That was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.  First of all because it was excruciatingly painful.  The destruction of the nerve combined with the gradual regrowth of the nerve caused electrical-like zaps throughout the left side of my head and face for months.  Another part that was really difficult was the vanity issues related to it.  My left eye could not close, blink, squint,...nothin'... so it was much bigger than the right eye.  I couldn't lift that side of my forehead or raise my eyebrow and when I smiled, it was very jagged...a half-smile.  I hated that I couldn't smile at my sweet 16 month old boy.  Not a fun season in my life.  However, looking back, I learned many valuable lessons.  I learned patience while waiting for that nerve to slowly regrow.  I remember sitting in my classroom feeling tingling in my upper lip...getting so excited because I knew my smile was returning.  I learned that it's really not about what you look like.  I had to really "get over myself" because I had to go face my students and co-workers every day like that.  And I learned that wrinkles are not so bad.  I would choose being able to show my emotions with wrinkles, lines, and creases any day over being plastic and having a face that won't move.  What a gift God has given us in that respect.  I think of wrinkles as kinds of a road map of one's life.  That's why really old ladies are beautiful to me.  I know I'm rambling here, but this is something I feel so strongly about.  I am thankful that at the relatively young age of {gasp} 35 I have my priorities right and although I have fun dressing up, putting makeup on, and like to feel like I look good when I leave the house, I am really secure in knowing, it really doesn't matter what my "earth suit" looks like.  God sees the inside of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and he still loves me.  And my family loves me no matter what I look like.  Who cares what anyone else thinks?  Although I know I will have a ton of fun with my girls over the years shopping for clothes, shoes, jewelry, and makeup; getting pedicures; getting dressed up for homecoming and prom and weddings...I want them to know that it is their uniqueness that makes them beautiful and not trying to be like everyone else.  I don't know how I will tackle the teenage years, but I hope by then that I have imparted enough wisdom that they are secure with themselves.  Wow....I just went off on a tangent, didn't I?  Just like my mom.  Thanks Mom for giving birth to me 35 years ago today!!! 

Part 2 of a really long post- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star... How I Wonder What You Are
On June 27, 2000, we found out we were expecting a boy.  On December 10, 2003, we found out we were expecting a girl.  On September 11, 2007, we found out we were having another girl.  Very soon we will find out what you are.  Then we can officially stop calling you "it" and say "he" or "she".  This is a special day that will change our lives.  We will be able to figure out exactly how you will fit into our family. 

Are you a bouncing baby boy?  A lil' guy that will love bugs, cars, trucks, boats, planes, trains, spaceships, technology, sports?  Will you be a lil' buddy for Jacob...someone to who he can teach everything he knows?  Another buddy for Daddy to go do boy stuff with?  A little boy that the girls can pretend is their doll?

Or are you another little princess?  I can't imagine three little girls...what fun that would be!  More costumes, click-clack dress-up shoes, more pink and purple, more fun hairbows, Barbies, paper dolls...One more wedding?  What fun....what debt!!! 

People ask if I have a preference and I can honestly say that I don't.  Either way I will be thrilled to pieces.  I am so looking forward to seeing your little body on that ultrasound screen, seeing your little arms and legs move, maybe even seeing you suck your thumb...or wave to your brother and sisters...and hearing, "It's a .....!"  You are already so blessed, little one!  You will be surrounded by a lot of people who are so ready to love you!  I can't wait to meet you, but for now I'm just happy to see you on that screen!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star...how I wonder what you are...

Happy Mother's Day!

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her"-Proverbs 31: 28


When I was a child, I had many dreams and ideas of what I wanted to be.  Among the top on the list were lawyer, tv news journalist, actress, Radio City Rockette, and teacher.  But at the very top was Mommy.  I can remember playing house with my friends and my dolls all the time wanting to be a mommy.  There is no more important job in the world.  Not one!  And I am so blessed that God has given me this very special job. 

To my amazing children Jacob, Alexa, and Natalia, thank you for challenging me daily...for pushing me beyond my limits..for making me want to be better each day..for developing a strength in me that I had no idea existed before you came along...for teaching me new things...I am honored and privileged to be your mom. 

To baby punkin...we have a long way to go kiddo.  In five and a half months I will get to meet you.  I can't wait to hold you, kiss you, smell your sweet baby smell, count your fingers and toes, and to look in your eyes and fall in love. 

To my mom, the strongest woman I know, you have taught me so many life lessons.  The most important to me are these:  strength, humility, empathy, how to put others before myself, that my value is not in what I look like but how I treat people, that the world does not revolve around me, how to carry on a conversation and take a genuine interest in people, that being an intelligent woman is important, that being interested in the news and the world around me is important, to stand up for what I believe in...  Thank you for loving me and also all the love you show to Matt and my kiddoes.  I love you!  

To my sister Shannon who is raising 3 strong willed, spirited precious children while running a successful online boutique:  I admire your strength and ability to juggle sooooo many things.  I'm so glad we are raising our children together just like we always said we would. 

Happy Mother's Day also to....

my amazing GJ, who did not have an easy life...she gave birth to my mom while my grandpa was away during the war, she raised 3 children and worked several jobs.  What a strong woman!  And at 88 is still stronger than ever.  I want to be like GJ when I grow up. 

my sister in law, Andrea, who as a baseball wife lives a very hectic life while raising 2 precious baby girls.

to my mother in law, Marilyn, who raised my husband Matt to be the amazing man that he is and is an excellent grandma!

to my sister in law, Angela, who is a great mom to little Timothy while juggling being a teacher

to Matt's Grandma Phylll who raised 8 kids, WHOA!! Enough said there...now that's a strong woman!

To all my teacher mommy friends...I have a special place in my heart for you.  I know the difficulty of being with other people's kids all day, when most of the time, you just want to be with your own.  And also the challenge of trying to have quality time with your kids while juggling grading papers, lesson planning, all the extra behind-the-scenes stuff that teachers do, finding a sub when your kids are sick...I could go on and on...

To all my mommy friends...I am inspired daily by watching the creativity and strength that you show.  Thank you for making me feel validated. 

To all the moms out there that are sick, or are raising sick children, or those that are raising children with special needs, those that are widowed, or single moms working 2 jobs, extra hats off to you girlfriends!  You are the true queens of the juggle.  God has a SPECIAL place in heaven for you!  Your courage inspires me. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the MOMS out there!  What a blessing!  Have a great day! 

Happy 6th Birthday to Alexa!

More to come.

Happy Easter!

I just have a few pictures to share...

Before the neighborhood Easter egg hunt last Saturday

I'm on my way...

"I hope the eggs have chocolate"

St. Patrick's Day

Alexa "modeling" in the window of Baby Gap

Pray for Layla Grace

laylagrace.org

I can't stop thinking about this family.

My thoughts and prayers are consumed with them.

Layla Grace is a 2 year old who has Stage 4 Neuroblastoma.  The doctors sent her home to have hospice care as there is nothing more they can do for her.  She has just a few days to live.  It is amazing that this little girl from Cypress, Texas has touched so many lives.  Her website, facebook page, and her parents' twitters have thousands and thousands of followers...including several celebrities.  I am amazed at the strength of her parents who are basically watching their beautiful little girl die.  Visit her website:  laylagrace.org....you will absolutely be taken with her story.  Having a two year old girl myself, I can't begin to imagine their grief and pain.  I know they take comfort in knowing that soon she will be with Jesus and will have a perfect heavenly body that is not laced with tumors.  Her sisters are 9 and 3 and are staying with their grandmother.  Please pray for this family.

It's Official!!!!

Okay, I'm trying to see how many of you can figure that one out! 

Yes, I am pregnant!!!!!!!!!  Baby #4 is due October 22, 2010.   I am about 7 weeks along right now.  We feel so incredibly blessed and are amazed that God is trusting us yet again with another precious soul.  I am so in love with my children and can not wait to hold our fourth and FINAL baby in my arms and to fall in love all over again.  We told the kids one night by giving them each a big brother/big sister shirt.  And then did cheers to the new baby with root beer floats.  They are very excited!  Jacob and Alexa are both hoping for a brother and of course, Natalia has no clue.  She will soon as the bump starts to grow!!  I don't care either way, since we have the best of both worlds in our house.  Although I must admit I'm about 51% hoping for a girl/49% for a boy...just a smidge more I think because I'm just so used to little girls now.  We have all the toys and clothes...But oh, my heart would melt with another little boy.  Jacob was such a joy as a lil guy, especially ages 2 and 3 and 4.  To have all the trains and cars and airplanes and bug and snake and space (and maybe even cell phone) obsessions would be such fun.  Either way, whatever God surprises us with, we will be thrilled. 

My mom always said she was fertile Myrtle and I guess I followed in her footsteps.  I don't know the pain of trying and having to wait and wait to concieve a baby.  My heart goes out to those wannabe Mommas.  Please say a special prayer for those moms that are struggling with infertility. 

There Could Never be a More Beautiful You

I heard this song a few months ago and it so connected with me.  I wish that I had heard it as a teenager.  I remember just crying my eyes out driving thinking I don't want my daughters to have to go through their pre-teen and teen years constantly feeling like they don't measure up in every way due to all of the media influence and airbrushed images they see everywhere!!!  What a lovely message that you are perfect just the way you are.  I just stumbled upon this video for the song.  It's pretty powerful!  Especially seeing the faces getting photoshopped.  Let me know what you think.

I'm also including the lyrics.  They are definitely worth a read!  Especially the last paragraph. 



Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine

Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight


Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

[Chorus]
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you


Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead


Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

[chorus]


So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl


[chorus]