A Good, Good Day

Part 1--It's Just a Number
Wow, today is my 35th birthday and although my doctor said I am officially an old fart now, I do not feel any older.  I am so grateful to my mom who never made a big deal about age.  At 67, she still looks great, but I feel like she ages gracefully.  She just doesn't make a big deal about it.  Now I am not crazy about all the wrinkles and spots that are popping up here and there on my face, but I also feel like they add character and I will not be ashamed.  I'm loving my life and am just happy to be alive.  When I was 26, I woke up one morning with Bell's Palsy.  For those of you that don't know, Bell's Palsy is when one of the facial nerves is destroyed, and causes temporary or permanent paralysis of certain features.  That was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.  First of all because it was excruciatingly painful.  The destruction of the nerve combined with the gradual regrowth of the nerve caused electrical-like zaps throughout the left side of my head and face for months.  Another part that was really difficult was the vanity issues related to it.  My left eye could not close, blink, squint,...nothin'... so it was much bigger than the right eye.  I couldn't lift that side of my forehead or raise my eyebrow and when I smiled, it was very jagged...a half-smile.  I hated that I couldn't smile at my sweet 16 month old boy.  Not a fun season in my life.  However, looking back, I learned many valuable lessons.  I learned patience while waiting for that nerve to slowly regrow.  I remember sitting in my classroom feeling tingling in my upper lip...getting so excited because I knew my smile was returning.  I learned that it's really not about what you look like.  I had to really "get over myself" because I had to go face my students and co-workers every day like that.  And I learned that wrinkles are not so bad.  I would choose being able to show my emotions with wrinkles, lines, and creases any day over being plastic and having a face that won't move.  What a gift God has given us in that respect.  I think of wrinkles as kinds of a road map of one's life.  That's why really old ladies are beautiful to me.  I know I'm rambling here, but this is something I feel so strongly about.  I am thankful that at the relatively young age of {gasp} 35 I have my priorities right and although I have fun dressing up, putting makeup on, and like to feel like I look good when I leave the house, I am really secure in knowing, it really doesn't matter what my "earth suit" looks like.  God sees the inside of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and he still loves me.  And my family loves me no matter what I look like.  Who cares what anyone else thinks?  Although I know I will have a ton of fun with my girls over the years shopping for clothes, shoes, jewelry, and makeup; getting pedicures; getting dressed up for homecoming and prom and weddings...I want them to know that it is their uniqueness that makes them beautiful and not trying to be like everyone else.  I don't know how I will tackle the teenage years, but I hope by then that I have imparted enough wisdom that they are secure with themselves.  Wow....I just went off on a tangent, didn't I?  Just like my mom.  Thanks Mom for giving birth to me 35 years ago today!!! 

Part 2 of a really long post- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star... How I Wonder What You Are
On June 27, 2000, we found out we were expecting a boy.  On December 10, 2003, we found out we were expecting a girl.  On September 11, 2007, we found out we were having another girl.  Very soon we will find out what you are.  Then we can officially stop calling you "it" and say "he" or "she".  This is a special day that will change our lives.  We will be able to figure out exactly how you will fit into our family. 

Are you a bouncing baby boy?  A lil' guy that will love bugs, cars, trucks, boats, planes, trains, spaceships, technology, sports?  Will you be a lil' buddy for Jacob...someone to who he can teach everything he knows?  Another buddy for Daddy to go do boy stuff with?  A little boy that the girls can pretend is their doll?

Or are you another little princess?  I can't imagine three little girls...what fun that would be!  More costumes, click-clack dress-up shoes, more pink and purple, more fun hairbows, Barbies, paper dolls...One more wedding?  What fun....what debt!!! 

People ask if I have a preference and I can honestly say that I don't.  Either way I will be thrilled to pieces.  I am so looking forward to seeing your little body on that ultrasound screen, seeing your little arms and legs move, maybe even seeing you suck your thumb...or wave to your brother and sisters...and hearing, "It's a .....!"  You are already so blessed, little one!  You will be surrounded by a lot of people who are so ready to love you!  I can't wait to meet you, but for now I'm just happy to see you on that screen!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star...how I wonder what you are...