4 weeks left...and other thoughts

Okay, so it's been almost 4 months since I have blogged.  A lot has happened in that time.  Among those...we found out the sex of the baby, school got out for summer, we got a pool, and a million other things have happened in between.  I have debated whether to keep up with the blog.  It can be a lot of work and a lot to keep up with and just one more thing to check off the list of one million and one things to do.  But after much thought...I realize it is necessary.  Necessary for these reasons:

1. I love my life.  I love making memories with the people I love.  Fortunately (and unfortunately) my life is way overloaded.  I feel like as new memories are made, the old ones just fade into the back of my brain.  Like old, dusty files in the back of a file cabinet...never to be retrieved again.  So for me, it is important that I have a way to keep track of these memories.  One of these ways is through digital scrapbooking:  the incredible hobby I discovered right after Natalia was born.  The lessons I have learned from DS are too many to mention...but among these are that it is the every day moments that count...not just the BIG moments.  Not just Halloween and Christmas and Easter and baby's first steps and the first day of school.  Of course those days are so important.  But it's the things that happen every day that are so special and those are the things I want to blog about mostly:  cooking Sunday morning breakfast together, watching Jacob play Wizard School with his friends after school,  seeing Alexa sound out the letters and words as she writes a story, hearing Natalia say, "No, I do it" for the hundredth time as she tries to put her shoes on for school.  Everyday moments.  What life is all about.  What I write about may seem mundane or boring.  If so, you might want to discontinue reading this blog.  I realize that most people that read this are mommies just like me and you care about the same things I do.  I love that and I love that common bond among women.  But I have to keep in mind, above all, that truly I am doing this as a memorykeeper for myself, my children, my family...This is the legacy I will leave my chidren and grandchildren.  At times, it feels strange writing about myself so much, but a wise person once said, "wouldn't you like to have a journal or diary or blog from your mother or grandmother?"  You bet I would.  So that keeps me going.  I know one day, these words will be a way for my loved ones to know me.   Who did I love?  What did I love?  What did God show me throughout my journey with him?  What were my hobbies?  What were my favorite places?  How did I spend my time?  All things I would love to know about my GJ and my mom when they were 35.  And 40.  And 60. 
2. Sharing photos with friends and family.  Now this is not my strength.  Mostly because it takes sooo long to upload the photos.  It's not that I don't have the patience.  It's the time factor!  I usually blog early in the morning, during naptime, or late at night.  Often, I just don't feel like spending that precious time waiting for my photos to upload.  If you tune in to my blog for photos, you just might be frequently disappointed because they are not always going to be there.  If my wordiness bothers you, then my blog might not be for you.
3. To glorify God.  I realize daily that EVERYTHING good in my life comes from God.  I want to show how he is working in my life, my family's life, my church.  And for those that are nonbelievers, I want them to know he is real, he exists, and he is so good! 

Now, why isn't God first you ask?  Well, Christ is first in my life.  I realize I can do nothing apart from him and am growing in my walk with him.  However, I don't want that pressure put upon me by myself or others to always to have something deep or profound to write about.  Some days, I might just want to talk about my Halloween decorations or that my baby pooped for the 10th time that day or that I am so sleep deprived, I put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. 

So I want to keep the above three goals in my mind as I blog.  I really want to try for the next 4 weeks to blog daily to remember what life was like before our 4th child was born.  Before our family dynamic changes yet again.  That is a challenge I am giving myself.  Who knows if it will come to fruition?  At this point, I am dealing with HUGE sleep deprivation, getting Baby Girl's room ready, and trying to check lots and lots of things off of lots and lots of lists.  But I want to put blogging on the list.

I am also in the process of revamping my blog.  From the name to the look to the pictures.  It's all going to change. That's coming.  Just don't know when.

Well, the kids are at school.  Natalia is at MDO.  I dropped her off and came straight to Starbucks with my laptop.  I can't go home because the cleaning ladies are there and I am meeting a friend for lunch in an hour.  So I got nuttin' but time.  So I will have to post some random pix of our summer!   Enjoy!!

Jacob's honor roll ceremony

Jacob and Blake excited when they started digging

Blake and Dad came over often to check on the progress of the pool.

They were so excited!  Blake even came over on his birthday!

The Frame

One lazy Sunday....Matt and his mini-me.  Jacob thinks he's a

little adult.  Notice the coffee.  It's just a tad, with mostly cream!

Alexa and her very special friend Jack at the End of Year Party for Kindergarten

A day at the beach with the fam

Alexa and cousin Sydney

Gram and Natalia playing in the sand

I have a lot more pictures but the posting at Starbucks takes even longer than home.  I will be back to post more pictures!

A Good, Good Day

Part 1--It's Just a Number
Wow, today is my 35th birthday and although my doctor said I am officially an old fart now, I do not feel any older.  I am so grateful to my mom who never made a big deal about age.  At 67, she still looks great, but I feel like she ages gracefully.  She just doesn't make a big deal about it.  Now I am not crazy about all the wrinkles and spots that are popping up here and there on my face, but I also feel like they add character and I will not be ashamed.  I'm loving my life and am just happy to be alive.  When I was 26, I woke up one morning with Bell's Palsy.  For those of you that don't know, Bell's Palsy is when one of the facial nerves is destroyed, and causes temporary or permanent paralysis of certain features.  That was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.  First of all because it was excruciatingly painful.  The destruction of the nerve combined with the gradual regrowth of the nerve caused electrical-like zaps throughout the left side of my head and face for months.  Another part that was really difficult was the vanity issues related to it.  My left eye could not close, blink, squint,...nothin'... so it was much bigger than the right eye.  I couldn't lift that side of my forehead or raise my eyebrow and when I smiled, it was very jagged...a half-smile.  I hated that I couldn't smile at my sweet 16 month old boy.  Not a fun season in my life.  However, looking back, I learned many valuable lessons.  I learned patience while waiting for that nerve to slowly regrow.  I remember sitting in my classroom feeling tingling in my upper lip...getting so excited because I knew my smile was returning.  I learned that it's really not about what you look like.  I had to really "get over myself" because I had to go face my students and co-workers every day like that.  And I learned that wrinkles are not so bad.  I would choose being able to show my emotions with wrinkles, lines, and creases any day over being plastic and having a face that won't move.  What a gift God has given us in that respect.  I think of wrinkles as kinds of a road map of one's life.  That's why really old ladies are beautiful to me.  I know I'm rambling here, but this is something I feel so strongly about.  I am thankful that at the relatively young age of {gasp} 35 I have my priorities right and although I have fun dressing up, putting makeup on, and like to feel like I look good when I leave the house, I am really secure in knowing, it really doesn't matter what my "earth suit" looks like.  God sees the inside of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and he still loves me.  And my family loves me no matter what I look like.  Who cares what anyone else thinks?  Although I know I will have a ton of fun with my girls over the years shopping for clothes, shoes, jewelry, and makeup; getting pedicures; getting dressed up for homecoming and prom and weddings...I want them to know that it is their uniqueness that makes them beautiful and not trying to be like everyone else.  I don't know how I will tackle the teenage years, but I hope by then that I have imparted enough wisdom that they are secure with themselves.  Wow....I just went off on a tangent, didn't I?  Just like my mom.  Thanks Mom for giving birth to me 35 years ago today!!! 

Part 2 of a really long post- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star... How I Wonder What You Are
On June 27, 2000, we found out we were expecting a boy.  On December 10, 2003, we found out we were expecting a girl.  On September 11, 2007, we found out we were having another girl.  Very soon we will find out what you are.  Then we can officially stop calling you "it" and say "he" or "she".  This is a special day that will change our lives.  We will be able to figure out exactly how you will fit into our family. 

Are you a bouncing baby boy?  A lil' guy that will love bugs, cars, trucks, boats, planes, trains, spaceships, technology, sports?  Will you be a lil' buddy for Jacob...someone to who he can teach everything he knows?  Another buddy for Daddy to go do boy stuff with?  A little boy that the girls can pretend is their doll?

Or are you another little princess?  I can't imagine three little girls...what fun that would be!  More costumes, click-clack dress-up shoes, more pink and purple, more fun hairbows, Barbies, paper dolls...One more wedding?  What fun....what debt!!! 

People ask if I have a preference and I can honestly say that I don't.  Either way I will be thrilled to pieces.  I am so looking forward to seeing your little body on that ultrasound screen, seeing your little arms and legs move, maybe even seeing you suck your thumb...or wave to your brother and sisters...and hearing, "It's a .....!"  You are already so blessed, little one!  You will be surrounded by a lot of people who are so ready to love you!  I can't wait to meet you, but for now I'm just happy to see you on that screen!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star...how I wonder what you are...

Happy Mother's Day!

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her"-Proverbs 31: 28


When I was a child, I had many dreams and ideas of what I wanted to be.  Among the top on the list were lawyer, tv news journalist, actress, Radio City Rockette, and teacher.  But at the very top was Mommy.  I can remember playing house with my friends and my dolls all the time wanting to be a mommy.  There is no more important job in the world.  Not one!  And I am so blessed that God has given me this very special job. 

To my amazing children Jacob, Alexa, and Natalia, thank you for challenging me daily...for pushing me beyond my limits..for making me want to be better each day..for developing a strength in me that I had no idea existed before you came along...for teaching me new things...I am honored and privileged to be your mom. 

To baby punkin...we have a long way to go kiddo.  In five and a half months I will get to meet you.  I can't wait to hold you, kiss you, smell your sweet baby smell, count your fingers and toes, and to look in your eyes and fall in love. 

To my mom, the strongest woman I know, you have taught me so many life lessons.  The most important to me are these:  strength, humility, empathy, how to put others before myself, that my value is not in what I look like but how I treat people, that the world does not revolve around me, how to carry on a conversation and take a genuine interest in people, that being an intelligent woman is important, that being interested in the news and the world around me is important, to stand up for what I believe in...  Thank you for loving me and also all the love you show to Matt and my kiddoes.  I love you!  

To my sister Shannon who is raising 3 strong willed, spirited precious children while running a successful online boutique:  I admire your strength and ability to juggle sooooo many things.  I'm so glad we are raising our children together just like we always said we would. 

Happy Mother's Day also to....

my amazing GJ, who did not have an easy life...she gave birth to my mom while my grandpa was away during the war, she raised 3 children and worked several jobs.  What a strong woman!  And at 88 is still stronger than ever.  I want to be like GJ when I grow up. 

my sister in law, Andrea, who as a baseball wife lives a very hectic life while raising 2 precious baby girls.

to my mother in law, Marilyn, who raised my husband Matt to be the amazing man that he is and is an excellent grandma!

to my sister in law, Angela, who is a great mom to little Timothy while juggling being a teacher

to Matt's Grandma Phylll who raised 8 kids, WHOA!! Enough said there...now that's a strong woman!

To all my teacher mommy friends...I have a special place in my heart for you.  I know the difficulty of being with other people's kids all day, when most of the time, you just want to be with your own.  And also the challenge of trying to have quality time with your kids while juggling grading papers, lesson planning, all the extra behind-the-scenes stuff that teachers do, finding a sub when your kids are sick...I could go on and on...

To all my mommy friends...I am inspired daily by watching the creativity and strength that you show.  Thank you for making me feel validated. 

To all the moms out there that are sick, or are raising sick children, or those that are raising children with special needs, those that are widowed, or single moms working 2 jobs, extra hats off to you girlfriends!  You are the true queens of the juggle.  God has a SPECIAL place in heaven for you!  Your courage inspires me. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the MOMS out there!  What a blessing!  Have a great day! 

Happy 6th Birthday to Alexa!

More to come.

Happy Easter!

I just have a few pictures to share...

Before the neighborhood Easter egg hunt last Saturday

I'm on my way...

"I hope the eggs have chocolate"

St. Patrick's Day

Alexa "modeling" in the window of Baby Gap

Pray for Layla Grace

laylagrace.org

I can't stop thinking about this family.

My thoughts and prayers are consumed with them.

Layla Grace is a 2 year old who has Stage 4 Neuroblastoma.  The doctors sent her home to have hospice care as there is nothing more they can do for her.  She has just a few days to live.  It is amazing that this little girl from Cypress, Texas has touched so many lives.  Her website, facebook page, and her parents' twitters have thousands and thousands of followers...including several celebrities.  I am amazed at the strength of her parents who are basically watching their beautiful little girl die.  Visit her website:  laylagrace.org....you will absolutely be taken with her story.  Having a two year old girl myself, I can't begin to imagine their grief and pain.  I know they take comfort in knowing that soon she will be with Jesus and will have a perfect heavenly body that is not laced with tumors.  Her sisters are 9 and 3 and are staying with their grandmother.  Please pray for this family.

It's Official!!!!

Okay, I'm trying to see how many of you can figure that one out! 

Yes, I am pregnant!!!!!!!!!  Baby #4 is due October 22, 2010.   I am about 7 weeks along right now.  We feel so incredibly blessed and are amazed that God is trusting us yet again with another precious soul.  I am so in love with my children and can not wait to hold our fourth and FINAL baby in my arms and to fall in love all over again.  We told the kids one night by giving them each a big brother/big sister shirt.  And then did cheers to the new baby with root beer floats.  They are very excited!  Jacob and Alexa are both hoping for a brother and of course, Natalia has no clue.  She will soon as the bump starts to grow!!  I don't care either way, since we have the best of both worlds in our house.  Although I must admit I'm about 51% hoping for a girl/49% for a boy...just a smidge more I think because I'm just so used to little girls now.  We have all the toys and clothes...But oh, my heart would melt with another little boy.  Jacob was such a joy as a lil guy, especially ages 2 and 3 and 4.  To have all the trains and cars and airplanes and bug and snake and space (and maybe even cell phone) obsessions would be such fun.  Either way, whatever God surprises us with, we will be thrilled. 

My mom always said she was fertile Myrtle and I guess I followed in her footsteps.  I don't know the pain of trying and having to wait and wait to concieve a baby.  My heart goes out to those wannabe Mommas.  Please say a special prayer for those moms that are struggling with infertility.